Thinking through my tough experiences, I can see one common resemblance in all of them. It’s my ability to look past the bad and hope that things will take a turn for the better. But, when does “better” become acceptable? I have always found that my main goal in life isn’t fame, fortune, or anything materialistic. All that my soul is striving for is happiness. Will I really achieve my happiness if a terrible situation got better? Probably not.
Better can mean that he finally answers a simple text message. It can mean that you don’t stub your toe on the corner of your bed in the morning. It can also mean that your dog doesn’t leave you a surprise on the floor when you get home from a long day of work.
What I’m getting at here is that better isn’t always the best for you.
In my situation, I am talking about a relationship. Things have gotten so bad that even if he acknowledged by existence it would seem “better.” No, I am not talking about a crush that I am head over heels for. I am talking about the boy who claimed love towards me for a year and a half and then the next day decided that he “dreaded” seeing me. It took a month of tears and constant heartache to finally break-up. Get this, he even asked if he could “fuck other people.” What did I do in that instance, you might ask? I cried in my lofted, floral covered dorm bed for an hour wondering what I had done wrong. Is this when I broke up with him? Nope. I didn’t have the courage to let go of the man I thought he was. Little did I realize that he is nothing but boy using me for sex.
There was so much wrong surrounding me that even acknowledging me would’ve made it “better.” This is what I’m getting at: You and Me deserve to be happy, not feel “better” than we did a second ago.
theinevitablejourney 